• AGF

Yaning Yu 得救见证 Chinese&English

Updated: Jul 30, 2018

我生长在中国大陆的一个没有基督教背景的家庭。我的父母在我七岁的时候离婚。自那以后我便跟随姥姥姥爷生活。父亲几乎离开了我的生活。母亲每周末来姥姥家看望我,但是她和姥姥的关系不好,所以几乎每周末她们都会争吵。不和谐的家庭氛围和缺爱的童年让我几乎每时每刻感到焦虑和孤独。我经常躲起来独自哭泣,不爱笑,也不知道爱是什么。我的心就像一片荒芜贫瘠的沙漠。

2015年12月25日,我来到美国。来自粤语堂的Michael和Alice夫妇来机场接我。他们努力的用不太流利的普通话和我介绍着洛杉矶和美国,让我感到温暖。第二天,他们用一整天的时间陪我去Costco还有另外两个超市买日用品,还带我去IKEA买桌椅和台灯等家具,回家帮我组装好,晚上还请我吃了非常美味的粤菜。他们的充满善意和热情的欢迎和帮助超乎我的想象。我开始好奇是怎样的一种信仰能够让他们对一个陌生人如此好?于是来到美国的第一个主日我就和他们一起来到了咱们教会。教会和谐喜乐的氛围令我感到非常震撼。这是我想象中家应该有的氛围。在教会我感到安全和平安,我感觉这个信仰有一些与众不同的东西。于是我开始和来自AGF的校园传道王浩博进行一对一查经。上帝伟大的爱让自小缺少父母关爱的我十分震撼和感动。尽管我失去了这个世界的父亲,但是在天上我有一个天父,他爱我,不需要任何前提条件。他为我准备了一个永恒的家。这就是我一直在寻找的归宿。所以2016年夏天我准备受洗。但是当我把这个消息告诉我的前男友的时候,他完全不能接受。他说我只能在他和上帝当中选一个。那个时候我的信仰还不是十分坚定。认识上帝六个月的时间以来,我没有体验到许多见证所说的“上帝改变生命的力量”。所以我选择了前男友,离开并背弃了上帝还有教会。

在之后的时间里,一切又恢复成以前的样子,我又再一次陷入了深深的孤独。渐渐的,我感觉也许我的前男友并不可靠,也不值得让我为他背弃神。2017年五月由于姥姥病重,我返回中国。六月份,姥姥因为癌症去世了。这件事对我的打击非常大。姥姥是和我最亲近的人。她的去世让我开始回想我们一起度过的那些时光。神打开的我的眼睛,让我在回忆中明白我的姥姥是那么的爱我,用尽她的全部照顾我。也让我认清自己是多么的自私,以自我为中心。我总是只顾及自己的情绪和需求,持续不断地向她索取关怀和爱护。在她因为和我妈妈吵架伤心难过的时候,在她被癌症缠身疼的寝食难安的时候,我却没有努力的关心她,在她的身旁陪伴她!姥姥对我的爱和去世让我内心充满懊悔和痛苦,这懊悔让我终于明白而且愿意低头承认我确实是有罪的。


Have dinner with church friends

八月份,我从中国回来之后,重新回到了我们教会。当我重新读圣经,参加诗歌敬拜和听布道信息的时候,在神伟大的爱面前,我感到特别羞愧和后悔。天父上帝用他的宽恕和爱浇灌并且柔软了我贫瘠无水的心灵。天父使用教会中的兄弟姐妹来表达他对我的爱,治愈我的心。九月份我开始认真的考虑成为基督徒的事情,但是我没办法主动和前男友分手。于是在USC团契的退休会时,我把犹豫和困扰和英文堂的Jenna和Jeanette分享,她们耐心的倾听我的苦恼,并帮我向上帝祷告。三天之后的团契,我和Annie再次进行了祷告。在这次祷告中,我留着泪第一次向上帝认罪。我说:“亲爱的天父上帝,对于我去年背弃了您我真的感到很对不起。您的爱是唯一真实的信实的爱。您的爱超乎我的所求所想。我非常感恩即使我背离了您,您仍然没有放弃我,您让兄弟姐妹帮助我,关心我,支持我。姥姥的去世帮助我明白了我是多么的有罪。我渴望耶稣救赎我的罪。我渴望更新我的心和我的人生。请您帮助我爱他人就像基督耶稣爱我们一样。请您带领我走进您,认识您,活出耶稣基督的样式。以上的祷告奉耶稣基督的名,阿门!”在这个真心认罪祷告的第二天的晚上,上帝回应了我的祷告,前男友和我分手了。那个夜晚,我跪下来感谢上帝并和上帝和好。我成为了一个真正的基督徒。

回顾我过去的人生,到处充满上帝的恩典、宽恕和爱。当我真的从心里承认我的罪并且向上帝祈求救赎的时候,我才开始经历神在我生命中的改变。我的人生也开始由黑白变成了彩色。感谢神,我终于找到了我的家,也是我这一生的盼望。迷路的孩子回家了。将我所有的感谢和赞美都献给我们伟大的主,我们的天父上帝。

我最喜欢的经文: 彼得后书3章9节:“主所应许的尚未成就,有人以为他是耽延,其实不是耽延,乃是宽容你们,不愿有一人沉沦,乃愿人人都悔改。”


My testimony

I grew up in a non-Christian family in mainland. My parents divorced when I was seven years old. Since then I was sent to live with my grandparents (mother-side). My father almost left my life. My mother came to visit me every weekend, but her relationship with my grandma was not good, so they quarreled every weekend. The discordant family atmosphere and the lack of love of childhood made me feel anxious and lonely every day and night. I often hided and cried, didn’t like to smile, and didn’t know what love is. My heart is like a barren desert.

On December 25, 2015, I came to the United States. Michael and Alice from our church came to pick me up at the airport. They worked hard to introduce Los Angeles and the United States with their poor Mandarin and made me feel very welcomed. The next day, they spent a whole day with me to go to Costco and two other supermarkets to buy daily necessities. They also took me to IKEA to buy furniture such as tables and chairs and lamps, went home to help me assemble, and treated me a very delicious Cantonese cuisine. Their kindness and care were beyond my imagination. I began to wonder what kind of belief can make them so good to a stranger? As a result, I came to our church with them the first week after I arrived LA. The atmosphere of harmony and joy in the church shocked me. This was what I was seeking for! I felt at home in the church. I started to wonder that maybe this belief has something different compared to other religions. In order to explore more, I started a one-on-one Bible study with Haobo Wang who is a campus evangelist in AGF. God's holiness and faithful love touched my heart and cured my wound. Although I lost the father of this world, I have found my heavenly Father! He has steadfast love to me. He prepared an eternal home for us and for those who believed him. I knew this is what I had been looking for. So, in the summer of 2016 I thought I was ready to be baptized. But when I informed this decision to my ex-boyfriend, he couldn't accept it at all. He said that I can only choose one among him and God. At that time my faith was not very firm. I was not changed and reborn. So, I chose my ex-boyfriend, left and turned away from God and our church.

After that, everything returned to its former state, and I fell into deep loneliness again. Gradually, I felt that my ex-boyfriend is not reliable, and he is not worthy. I returned to China in May 2017 due to my grandma’s serious cancer. In June, she passed away. Her death had dealt a big blow to me. She is the closest person to me in my whole life. It made me start thinking about the time we spent together. God opened my eyes and helped me to see how much she loved me. She took care of me from every aspect of my childhood life. It also made me realize how selfish and self-centered I was. I only cared about my own emotions and needs and continued to ask her for care and love. When she was saddened by my mother's quarrel, when she was suffered from cancer, I didn't care her and accompanied her by her side! What a great sinner I am! Her love and death for me made me feel remorseful and painful. And Jesus Christ’s love and death were even bigger! I finally understood and was willing to bow down and admitted that I was indeed sinful.

In August, after I came back from China, I came back to our church. When I read the Bible again, participated in worship and listened to sermons, I felt particularly shameful and regretful in the face of God. God used his forgiveness and love to water and soften my poor, waterless soul. And Heavenly Father used the brothers and sisters in our church to express his love and heal my heart. In September, I began to seriously consider becoming a Christian, but I could not take the initiative to break up with my ex-boyfriend. So, at the retreat of the USC Fellowship, I shared my hesitation and troubles with Jenna and Jeanette. They patiently listened to my distress and prayed for me. Three days after, Annie and I prayed about it again. In my prayer, I confessed to God for the first time with tears. I said, "Dear God, I am so sorry for betray of you last year. Your love is the only true faithful love. Your love is beyond my expectations. I am very grateful even if I turned away from you, you still haven't given up on me, you let brothers and sisters help me, care about me and support me. My grandma’s death helps me understand how sinful I am. I beg for Jesus Christ to redeem my sins. I am eager to renew my Heart and my life. Please change me to love others as Christ Jesus loves us. Please lead me into your way, know you more and follow the life of Jesus Christ. In Jesus Christ’s name I pray, Amen!" On the night of the second day of this confession prayer, God responded to my prayers, and my ex-boyfriend broke up with me. That night, I kneeled down to thank God’s acceptance and reconciled with God. I became a true Christian.

Looking back on my past life, God's grace, forgiveness and love are everywhere. When I really confessed my sin from the bottom of my heart, I began to experience the power of changing and renewing in my life. Thank you, my Lord and my savior, I finally found my eternal home and my hope for my life. The lost child has gone home. Dedicating all my thanks and praises to our great Lord, our Heavenly Father!

My favorite verse is 2 Peter 3:9: The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.

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